Mandala Gardens
Blog
January 2012
This year has been prophesied as both a time of upheaval and chaos as well as
one of transformation. But, what does it take for us to create change
within this world??? If we look to the past I would say that it has taken
great, great physical suffering, and my question to everyone reading this is do
we still require great suffering and sacrifice for change or transformation to
occur in this world, indeed in our own lives?
I have been informed that it would be wise to stalk up dried goods for approximately three months. Now at first upon hearing this I felt it to be a bit melodramatic and fear based. Then a friend gave me the perspective of being prepared for whatever may come.
What I offer up and ask myself is what are we waiting for? Are we waiting for the chaos to arrive at our doorstep, our dried goods all packaged and labelled in containers. Are we self-sustaining in this time of crisis (which to me basically means I don't need anyone's help, thank you very much) or is there something deeper being asked of us but again we miss the doorway because we are busy waiting for whatever disaster or prediction is to unfold upon us poor souls that lie in wait as victims to this world.
Could it be that we are being asked to act NOW! Begin to create and support one another NOW! Do we need disaster to be compassionate and caring of those within our very community. Can we create community NOW and begin supporting one another without waiting for disaster or upheaval in our lives?
Awaiting those opinions and thoughts of others who wonder this very thing! Do we need crisis and suffering? If the answer is no would you be willing to share how you are acting NOW to create support systems within your community?
January 2012
Where did the year go? I had many good if not great intentions to blog regularly but somewhere along the way I got busy, tied up, distracted and focussed on so many different things. It was a great year as I spent time with family and friends, strengthening and building relationships over conversation, yoga, healing, good food and laughter. This year I look forward, with focussed intent and commitment to creating a year of fun, pleasure, happiness, joy, compassion and love. I have thought a lot about commitment and what it takes to commit to anything, whether it is our life, a job, career, creating a dream home, our spiritual journey, family, friends and an intimate partner. What does it take and also what keeps us from living life to its fullest, discovering our potential or purpose and enjoying the ride. Mostly I would say FEAR is a strong factor in most peoples' lives and definitely has been a steady shadow that grips me at times whether at night when I am alone and it is dark or whether it is new beginnings.
This year I have chosen to ignite the courage that dwells within me that sees and knows the truth that lies behind my fear and moves forward aware of my trembling legs and heart racing but never breaking stride. I will face my fears this year as an obstacle that at one time cemeted me in that place of pain and suffering, a victim to my very life unfolding and to every door that was opening only to shut as I stood stone cold still, afraid to move forward, always looking for what lurked behind. I will seize each opportunity as a challenge to go beyond my limitations and become the warrior I know myself to be. I will walk through each door as it opens and meet each person on my path with awareness and understanding of the teachings they have to share and the experiences we have to explore together. I will accept and welcome into my heart my path, as I continue to move along it!
May each of you be accepting of those obstacles on your path whatever they may be and see them as opportunity to grow and to become a warrior of Light, Love & Truth, each of us creating a little peace in this world.
January 2011
My vision for 2011 is to be present in every moment, every
conversation, and every action that I take. Too often I find myself with
others discussing who we want to become, what we would like to create, what it will
look like, and ultimately there is always the but, if I was younger, had more
money, more time, could find others to work with, and if only people, others
would change, be more health conscious, open-minded, supportive, giving, less
controlling ... the endless reasons why others are stopping us from acting now, in the present
moment.
What I woke up to this morning was, what am I waiting for? Why not start
today and move with compassion encouraging someone to be who they are, give
someone a helping hand just because you can, offer a hug, a kind word, a smile,
food, a massage, the list is endless in small acts that we can all be doing
every moment of every day. Why not also do these small acts for ourselves.
Love and accept who we are right now, not some vision of the future, of who we
each hope to become, perfect, achieve, but to work with who we are in this
moment, and know that we have something to offer others today. Who we are
is the gift to share and each of us is a gift to humanity. We can all do
kind acts, open our hearts to help another person, without waiting to be asked,
to be paid, or to perfect who we are because right now is the perfect moment.
If there is something that you truly wish to see in the world, within yourself
or your community, why not start expressing that today in whatever way seems
right and resonates with you.
Let's keep things simple so that change is now, not sometime in the future.
I want to provide more healing work within my own community as an act of coming together, so what am I waiting for. I have started offering massage and energy work by donation to those that are in need. I wish to sing, drum and dance as a way of celebrating the feminine and so I gather with a friend and we drum for a few hours a week and I listen to great female and male singers and sing along, expressing my voice as I dance in my living room feeling a freedom to just be who I am.
In my community we all want good food and a restaurant to go to that will serve us what we like but that restaurant has not materialized. So I have started hosting potlucks and dinner parties, inviting friends into my home and preparing incredible meals enjoyed by many with great conversation, laughter and joy.
We can also speak to some of the local restaurants and ask for more vegetarian meals, variety such as ethnic food, Indian or Thai for example, the power is within us to create change.
This is my vision and its not for the future but for right now, today, in this moment, to do the things I love and then to gather with others to share in our common vision - to love who we are and to come together and love others, to be accepted, to fit in, to be a part of something greater than ourselves.
It’s time to acknowledge our potential, who we are and the gifts we've been given to share with all of humanity. Join me as I contribute to creating a universe filled with light, love, truth and peace.
The CHOICE begins with each of us.
Spring 2010
The healing path or journey home, union with the Divine has taken many forms and is not a path easily chosen or walked. It requires great dedication, discipline, patience, compassion and commitment. Few choose this path in life because it requires that we delve into our darkest aspects, bring them to the surface and look them in the face. This work has been done for thousands of years in many different ways by many unique individuals. Some chose the path of solitude, hermits, pilgrims, sadhus, yogis and monks, choosing a celibate lifestyle, sacrificing the physical, and focussing purely on the spiritual path and union with the Divine, mystics such as Teresa of Avalon, John the Baptist and many more.
For many years I have lived my life sacrificing family, friends, community and love, giving my power to the masculine/mind and eventually isolating myself more and more from the world. I am not referencing myself here as a mystic or saint in any way but I do believe that we are in a time where the journey to consciousness or home is changing and that individuals are living in the world while on this journey, embracing and celebrating the feminine/physical. Since 2000 I have felt called to rebuild my relationship with the feminine and to honour who I am, as a woman, reclaiming my power. I recognize that I am not defined by my physical body but that it is the foundation from which I create and express who I am,from the heart. I now understand that the feminine/Creation and masculine/Creator are One. They cannot be separated because we would not exist without form in this world and we could not create without Divine energy moving through us.
Whether or not you are conscious of walking this path, I believe that we are all on the same journey, although it varies with each individual on the surface. May we all discover who we truly are and in so doing, may we recognize that we are One, not separated by colour, race, culture or country. May we see the Divine in every being!
August 2009
Obviously I am not a regular writer keeping you up to date as to the activities at Mandala Gardens but I will try to encapsulate for you the past few years. My focus continues to be my personal healing journey and my work with the elements, strengthening both my understanding and my teachings. For the most part I have found myself working at other locations teaching yoga and offering treatments, something which at first I struggled with because I wanted to bring people to Mandala Gardens but later I recognized that there was some great healing that I needed and would achieve by going out into the world and doing my work. This has provided me with the opportunity to meet and work with some very amazing and diverse people with very different beliefs and backgrounds. In these environments I have strengthened my practice of yoga and teaching the elements of the wheel to others as a potential for healing. I have also extended my yoga teachings to include individuals with certain physical or mental challenges and this experience has taught me that each of us is unique in our individual expression of who we are.
As I consciously stepped onto this path eight, almost nine years ago I made a commitment to continue strengthening and creating harmony and balance in my relationship with Mother Earth. I have been fortunate in my life to have grown up close to nature and to have gained great respect for the abundance that she provides. My parents took us, my older sister, younger brother and myself, into the country every weekend and we would hike through the bushes, identifying animal tracks or droppings, varieties of trees and the sounds of birds. When we would visit our uncle's farm we would fish the creek, harvest mushrooms, beechnuts (while my father swung on the branches) pears, apples and mainly gather here as a greater family to spend time in nature. As most of you have probably experienced, nature has a way of relaxing and bringing us into the moment and I continue to spend as much time outdoors as I can.
This summer has brought its challenges as I have been busy with yoga and therapies and also working in the garden. The plant medicine remains a focus for me and the medicinal garden has been abundant this season with so much rain and the fact that many medicinal herbs are perennial it means less maintenance and sometimes simply harvesting the plant material when it calls me. Vegetables on the other hand are more maintenance and this year a lot of weeding has been needed because of the rain, although the cooler weather made it more comfortable to be in the garden and tend to the plants. I am currently harvesting quite a lot of calendula flowers and will soon be gathering seeds for next season's crops.
The plant kingdom is an area of incredible teaching as well as medicine and one that I have moved in for many years. I learned at an early age the value of plant medicine that we used to address the rheumatoid arthritis I was diagnosed with. This dis-ease would teach me so much about life that I cannot begin to go into detail here but 'illness' or the manifestation of physical symptoms providing us with some of the greatest opportunities to learn about what we hold or carry within our bodies. As well I believe that with acceptance and surrender we are able to let go of an illness, honouring and recognizing our ability to continuously grow and move through the experiences we create in life, strengthening our awareness and becoming ever more conscious of who we truly are.
Shamanism as I came to understand it is the practice of honouring Mother Earth and then moving beyond our physical identity through trance or the use of hallucinogenics into the Spirit Realm or the unseen to gather knowledge for healing For myself the environment and all that surrounds me is the spirit realm and all that is required is that I look beyond the physical form and see the teacher, the wisdom continuously being offered.
As raven cawed outside my home it was not observed as a nuisance or noise but an awakening to something that I needed to become aware of, to slow down and listen. It was an opportunity being gifted to me in that moment if I so chose to perceive it as one. Each moment offers such choices and when we listen and observe, we can gather teachings and wisdom from these precious moments, being and expressing gratitude for the teacher who has crossed our path. I would find my greatest teachers amongst the animals, birds, insects and reptiles that live and share the land I am now on. I feel a strong connection to the birds and a few of them our regular totems for me - grouse, woodpecker, blue jay, raven, hummingbird, hawk, turkey vulture and chickadee, ever changing with the seasons.
Shared thoughts or experiences are always welcome!
Trip to India 2007
I flew to Mumbai (Bombay) with two women from Peterborough and planned to stay at a Pilgrim Centre for a week of much needed rest. I planned to travel through southern India hoping to further my studies of Yoga and Ayurveda. My ticket was for three months but I would extend this for an extra month before returning home. Our flight left Pearson Airport in Toronto and flew to Frankfurt with an eight hour stopover and then onto Mumbai where we were picked up and driven yet another 6-7 hours arriving at the Pilgrim Centre for Meher Baba, approximately 30 hours from point of departure. I was exhausted and yet very exhilarated from the hustle and bustle of India that I remembered so well.
As I had no set agenda or clear expectations of this trip, it was less challenging to open myself to the realization that the Centre of Meher Baba was where I would spend my four months and experience some of the greatest aspects of yoga - Bhakti Yoga and Karma Yoga.
Interestingly, I never connected my practice of devotion and selfless service with Yoga, and still hear myself telling people that I did no yoga while in India but lived at a Pilgrim Centre. It seems that even I identify with yoga as a physical practice and although know it to be spiritual have not truly recognized what this meant or how to practice it.
Devotion or Bhakti Yoga is the ability to devote or surrender oneself to the will of God or the Heart, Love.
What exactly does this mean and how does one begin to surrender? Let me begin with saying that even the word 'God' caused some resistance for me, as I do not identify with or practice any religion. However, with my strong connection to Mother Earth, I find it quite easy to consider Creator or Spirit, as that which is greater than myself.
My first step:
Within my first week I would surrender to the fact that I would stay at the
Pilgrim Centre rather than travel through southern India and explore yoga ashrams
and study ayurveda. The acceptance of this thought, was fairly easy for me
because it came from within, but than bubbled up the emotions around doubt and
insecurity. Would I be judged by friends and family
for not pursuing my yoga studies and strengthening my practice; would I be
critical of myself; and would I have enough money to cover the expenses of my
stay.
Each of these doubts slowly disappeared as I surrendered control of what I wanted from life and began opening more to God's will and inner guidance/intuition.
My second step:
Surrendering to God was to recognize that this did not
take place once and then every other action from that moment onward would be perfect
and flow effortlessly but in fact it is a daily practice that triggers
additional insecurities stored within that I
have to face each time in order to continue to deepen my relationship.
My third step:
A daily practice of checking in with that inner
voice, listening for guidance as to the unfolding of my purpose and how best to
share it with mankind, as well as letting go of attachment as to what my role
is, rather than
trying to be in control and make everything about me.
Self-less Service or Karma Yoga is the ability to give unconditionally!
This doesn't sound so difficult when you just take in the words but self-less service is something that moves from the heart, not the head. It is not a process that requires thought but simple action of helping another human being. So what does unconditional mean? When we perform self-less service it is done or practiced without 'ego'. There is no attachment to what we are doing nor is there a reason for doing it, we are simply doing that which has to be done. If you are asking yourself the question 'why am I doing this', or 'what can I gain from doing this', then you are seeking a motivation which will come from the mind. When an action moves from the heart it is with pure love and there is no thought of self nor is there any question.
In the instance of providing service to the local villagers at a Free Dispensary set up by the Meher Baba Trust, where I volunteered once a week, this was easy to give both my time and service to those who I believed truly needed it and were mostly poor. (I was motivated by a judgment of their needs)
But what about when it came to giving to those who were not poor and who did not truly need it. (judgment on my part because how can we judge another's need)
I carried and continue to work with a belief that people from the West who claim to be so educated are smart enough to know how to look after their bodies and are not in such desperate need to push themselves physically just to feed their families at the cost of their own health. So I resented on some level when these Westerners were wanting a free treatment.
Are we not all 'equally' in need of support? It would seem that regardless of our financial, educational or cultural status that individual people know very little about looking after their own bodies and only when in pain or dis-ease do we seek help.
I would also discover that much like the West the people of India are also now seeking a 'quick fix' for their physical, mental or emotional symptoms, and most of the prescriptions we filled was medicine from the West.
We don't live in a society where people look to heal a 'symptom' or 'dis-ease' but simply medicate, attack or suppress it in the body, anything not to feel the pain or suffering and any way to just move on not learning from or gaining an understanding of our 'symptom'. How often are we supported to better understand our symptoms and the 'root' of an issue underlying them, so that true healing can take place? How many of us truly feel knowledgeable about our own bodies?
When we live in a world where most people work purely motivated by a regular pay cheque and are willing to sacrifice almost anything to get it, even our health/life, self-less service and the nurturing of an individual seem foreign. Dis-ease of the human body has become a multi-billion dollar business that many profit from and change must happen on the individual level of self-empowerment and awareness. Ignorance is no longer bliss!
So what awakened this calling to self-less service. When I gave of myself unconditionally it felt like I was flying on a cloud and my entire being was filled with love and I wanted to release and let go of whatever was separating me from being able to help all people.
Again, I recognize that this too is a daily practice because I still face doubts or become resentful when serving individuals who seem so determined to remain helpless and victim to whatever particular dis-ease is present. But I know that these experiences offer me the opportunity to check in with my own ego, to let go of any sense of being a victim that I may still carry, and to perhaps move a little closer into the Heart.
Serving another gives us the opportunity to ask - Do we have a hidden agenda or are we seeking something in exchange for what we offer? Are we serving God in our daily lives or are we serving our own 'ego'.
We might also begin to ask ourselves if we are being nurtured because only through receiving nurturing and walking our talk can we possibly tell another that they need to receive our support. Caregivers are sometimes the most incapable of receiving and often when I listen to myself talking to a client, it is a reminder to myself that I must also slow down, listen and provide myself with nurturing whether through food, yoga, inner contemplation, family, friends or gratitude.
Bhakti and Karma Yoga continue to teach me a great deal about myself and I am slowly integrating them into my daily life and highly recommend them as practices to a deeper self-awareness and opening of the heart, offering compassion to all individuals (including self) regardless of race, age, financial class, outward appearance or anything else that continues to separate us from one another.
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Meher Baba bathing the poor Mehru - disciple of Baba's
One of my favourite pictures of Baba
Dispensary where I volunteered Local villagers waiting to see a doctor
(60-120 people daily - 3 doctors)
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